


Fall

by StainedGlassDreams



Series: Earth, Please Come In, Over [16]
Category: Bucky Barnes: The Winter Soldier (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bucky is a stubborn idiot, F/M, Love, buckynat - Freeform, h/c, soviet soulmates, space, winterwidow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:42:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5071288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainedGlassDreams/pseuds/StainedGlassDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky tries to put himself in numbers, digits. But everything leads back to her; reminds him how nothing can ever be as brilliant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was like digits.

Bucky wrote out some of the logs. Random planetary filings people would probably never look at again, except when they needed to, or when they needed to make sure it was still there.  
He never took the workload Daisy had for granted; programmer, co-navigator, back-up, decoding, technician... It wasn't by any means, an easy burden.  
So anytime he could, he'd input some of the codes, writing out some of the things they had seen.  
Helped take his mind off as well.

Numbers scrolling in a loop. Sequences and possibilities, the only field explored by geniuses and madmen.  
Science based in formulas and equations.

Since... ...His mind skipped the word. Everything had become less brilliant. Stars glowing more dim, galaxies becoming slightly pale.  
He had painted his mourning star back to red, just so Daisy wouldn't think he was psychologically not ready for the mission.  
(He wasn't)  
Because he needed to get off Earth.  
(He didn't)  
Because there was nothing he could do.  
(There is)  
So he stayed here. And... The very thing that he has dreamt about since he was a boy, the balls of gas & fusion that he & Steve had marvelled at since they were children (irony following them into it, & he had to chuckle), lost all sense of beauty.  
They became like pictures in a book but in 3-D, his mind not wanting to process anything. ....Jammed on things that were red.  
Because he would choose looking into her eyes & see her for 5 more minutes; holding her & telling her everything through touch.... Words, caresses, kisses... Than to see this, for 5 years.

Because every star apppeared black in it's course, and comets only shone to him, things he would never be able to have again.

Fibonacci spirals telling him everything except how to undo what Nobokov did. How to make sure she would be safe.  
How to get just 7 more minutes-

"00741."  
Bucky snapped back to reality. "....What?"  
"You got the date log wrong." Daisy replied gently.  
The space bar waiting infinitely, blinked green against the numbers he put in. 1928.  
He said nothing. Knew why he put it in.  
"....You okay?"  
"Fine." He replied.  
Another 12 years went by as he mirrored the space bar before Daisy spoke again. ".....Why don't you take a breather? We got a long while anyway."  
Bucky looked down before nodding, leaving the numbers there without realizing.

It was like numbers.  
You can rewrite the code; change it, shape it; turn a blind eye & close your ears.  
But it's always there. The code of who exactly your heart chooses, and who understands it, when you can spend the rest of eternity, or whatever you deserve, reading it- & not changing one damn thing...  
It can't be rewritten. You can't rewrite it. 1928 forever engraved in his heart, the one she restarted.

He went to his room.  
But someone else can. & he hoped him turning off his computer, meant he could make up for it. & he accepted that he would never be forgiven.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy worries as Bucky's barely been sleeping, and he wants to submerge himself in something other than rest. Naturally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter, from Daisy's POV

Daisy sat, letting herself meditate doing the data input.

She had reassured Bucky that she didn't need any help, that she liked doing it, trusted it more when she did.  
Even though these files probably would never get read again, unless deemed necessary so.  
Still, it was the principle. Same as Bucky being kind enough to ask (when Logan was up here, his excuse was "The metal in my hands will mess up the electronics").  
So she let him.

The space of time that passed between his rapid keystrokes however, and the silence that followed, made her silently rethink if this was such a fantastic idea.

He hadn't gotten any rest, barely, since Kaamino. Saw the logs (though yes, she knew she shouldn't haven't checked but people down there kept asking about his wellbeing); in 7 days, he'd only gotten 14hrs sleep. That was akin to 2hrs. Each night. & she was pretty sure he hadn't slept a few of those nights.

1 minute of silence.

Reznor bumped up her leg, looking up at her.  
"Go check on him." She muttered to him.  
Reznor just continued to look at her, cocking it's head slightly to the side.  
She sighed.  
Daisy hesitated. She really didn't want to have to do this to him. It was enough he was going through what he was. Though she admired his decision (stupid and idiotic as it may have been), she really wasn't sure she could have done the same. Have given up everything and anything that could make you happy.... That does. Just to make the person that was largely in part responsible for it....safe.  
....Would give anyone reason not to sleep.

4 minutes.

Dammit.  
Daisy walked over to Barnes, looking down, lost in thought.  
The logs, written correctly except for the date.  
Bucky had written 1928.  
She gently called out his name. Silence.

Shit.

She quietly said the correct log date, to which he seemed to respond to.  
It was a few seconds before he replied. "...What?"  
"...You put in the wrong log date."  
His refocused eyes seemed to grow silently sad at the number. Daisy couldn't think for the life of her what the significance was. Nat's badge number was 4 more digits than that.  
Bucky seemed on the verge of spacing out exhausting trying to wrap itself in him.  
"...Why don't you take a break? We've got a long while anyway."  
He nodded, Daisy carefully watching him.  
Bucky made it to his room, looking more sad than dazed, as before.

"1928" the numbers blinked. .....She had no clue what it meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspiration for this song, remains the same as the 1st chapter. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy gets a call, with news, & a reminder of how fresh the wound is.

The communication button beeped as Daisy out it to silent in the case that Bucky was getting some rest (she wasnt going to check his logs anymore, unless his vitals monitor went off).  
She picked it up, Sam's face displaying on the screen.

"Wilson. Nice to see you."  
"Same to you Johnson." Sam nodded back.  
"How goes Earth?" She asked, indulging in small talk through the loneliness of space.  
He sighed.  
"That bad, huh?"  
"The usual. But nothing that isn't cleanable."  
She smiled. "Glad to hear."  
Sam smiled briefly as well, before his face turned sad and serious. "....Where's Bucky?"  
Daisy's heart dropped slightly. She really didn't want to say what just happened. Felt worse enough that she saw it. She answered carefully, "In his room. Why?"  
"Put the channel on private."  
Daisy looked at him strangely, before doing what he asked.  
"Done, but wh-"  
"There's a way to get Natasha's memories back."

The drop increased, though this time, with hope.  
"....How?"  
"....Strange just came back. Someone had to tell him about Buck & Nat. Steve was out with Wade so I was the only one in the Tower.  
"He told me that he can reassemble the neuro wires that fucking Nobokov servered, and rebuild the neural bridges."  
A thought came into Daisy's he as, along with a counter thought that she put aside. "Shouldn't you be telling Bucky this?"  
Sam sighed. "......He's set on this. He doesn't even know the damage this is doing."  
Daisy asked. "What do you mean?"  
"She's remembering."  
She paused. "......What?"  
"She gets snatches. Doesn't know who they belong to and..." Though the screen came with mandatory pixelation,though extremely tiny, she felt Sam's look. It was pain, understanding, sadness, & frustration.

Knew it because it's the face Bucky had been wearing lately.

"Daisy, I can't keep this up much longer. No one can. It's..." He sighed. "You can't lie to her. It hurts to. Especially when all she wants is-"  
Daisy's eyes widened slightly as she saw Nat emerge though a door behind Sam. "She wants what?"

Crap, crap, crap.

"Johnson. How goes Space?" Natasha asked.  
"Good. Though I'm sure yours looks cleaner with you guys caring for it."  
Nat smirked. "Nope, same trouble." She replied.  
"And Barnes?"  
The image of Bucky's heartbreak in his eyes when she would say that came roaring back.  
Sam's face was still visible on her end, & it was painful.  
"Doing fine." Was all she me could manage. Wanted to drop 72 hints, but Bucky would never forgive her. Idiot.  
Nat suddenly jumped to something else. "You ladies gossiping about me behind my back?"  
"Rudeness isn't allowed on board Nat. And I've always hated gossip, you know that."  
Nat nodded her head, heading to leave the room. "Take care of yourselves.", she said.  
"You too." Daisy replied.  
Sam's face became somber. ".....I'll have to call you back." He said.  
Daisy's turn to nod. "Stay safe Sam."  
"Same for you." He paused. "....Say hi to Bucky for me."  
"I will." She replied, the video feed turning off.

She switched the controls to normal, except for the silence button.  
Daisy checked his vitals, one more time. He was resting.

Nat could get her memories back. Everything.  
She smiled softly as she looked to Bucky's logs.

Just hoped he would listen.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Daft Punk- "Fall" (M83 vs Big Black Delta Remix  
> https://soundcloud.com/jdb1971/daft-punk-fall-remixed-by-m83-vs-big-black-delta
> 
>  
> 
> Though the log number is random, the numbers Bucky accidentally inputs are not. For extra feels, which I apologize for


End file.
